If I Let You Go
by RadicalRavenclaw
Summary: my first ever songfic and kouyako, also the WINNERS OF MY CONTEST are listed here. About this... after Izzy moves away, Yolei has to come to terms with her mixed-up feelings. What happens when the two come face to face miles away from their homeland? ~RR
1. Thinking

Hey Everyone!! I'm ba-ack!! Took me long enough, didn't it? ^_^ Anyhow, this is my first "attempt" at a song fic, so please don't flame me real hard! Please review!! I need to know how bad or good I did or else I can't make my stories better! And if ya don't like kouyako, then leave now, cuz that's the couple this focuses on. This is also kinda sad, cause I cried a bit at some parts when I wrote this. Also, I may write a sequel to this, so that's why this is in chapter form. Takes place about 4 years after season 2.

  
  


Disclaimer: Is this necessary? Digimon isn't mine, and it will never be mine _

  
  


Dedicated to all my readers and friends out there especially Maura (jus1digigirl), Bumblebee, Kara-Chan, DigitalAnimeFox, Yuki, Daikari-Chan and Theo 'Blitz' Leung. You guys are the greatest!

  
  


**CONTEST WINNERS AT THE END**

  
  


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**If I Let You Go**

**By: I Am Canadian**

  
  


__

_Day after day time pass away_

_____And I just cant get you off my mind_

_____Nobody knows I hide it inside_

_____I keep on searching but I cant find _

______

_____The courage to show, to letting you know _

_____I've never felt so much in love before_

_____And once again im thinking about _

_Taking the easy way out_

  
  


Figures that the one time you fall hard for somebody; that this person and you are meant to be together, something happens. In my case, the guy of my dreams moved away. I'll be the first one to admit it, I've had a lot of crushes, but in this case it was not a crush. The first time I laid eyes on Izzy, I knew he was something special. Corny, but true. That's why I never told anyone; they'd probably just laugh or brush it off as my crush-of-the-week thing. But Izzy was not just a crush. I fell in love. That's right. Honest-to-goodness LOVE. So, you can imagine how distraught I was when he moved away. The worst part about it though, was that I never told him how I felt or asked if he felt the same about me. Now I've got to live with that horrible feeling for the rest of my life. I've also got to live with that thought alone, because nobody on the face of this earth knew that I loved him. 

  
  


I haven't heard from Izzy in almost a year and a half. I don't know if he still lives in Los Angeles, where his dad's job took them, or if he's gone somewhere else. So lately, I've been thinking if I should just put the whole I'm-in-love thing to rest. Sometimes I think I must be crazy if I do that, but I'm starting to think that letting Izzy go is better than having that horrible feeling the rest of my life. 

  
  


_But if I let you go I will never know_

_____What my life would be holding you close to me_

_____Will I ever see you smiling back at me?_

_____How will I know if I let you go?_

  
  


That's the problem. I don't know how my life would've turned out if I had told Izzy about my feelings. Maybe we'd be together right now. Then, I wouldn't have to sit here and think about all of this. But that's not how it happened, although you can bet that I wished it could've been. I wished, oh so many times, that I could see him and his smile again. The smile that made me realize that I was in love. I cry now, thinking about it, as the way my life could have been. This all keeps coming back to my original plans, however. I just think it would be easier on me if I just let Izzy go peacefully, without causing me all this heartbreak and emotional breakdown.

  
  


_Night after night I hear my self say_

_____Why cant this feeling just fade away?_

_____There's no one like you_

_____You speak to my heart_

_____Its such a shame we're worlds apart_

  
  


Why can't this feeling fade away? It's causing me so much emotional trouble. Although I've gotta admit, there is no one like Izzy. He was one of the few people who made me feel that my life was worth living. He didn't call me names; just accepted me the way that I was. That's probably the reason I fell in love with him in the first place. If only he was still here. But he's not. I have to accept that.

  
  


_I'm to shy to ask, I'm to proud to lose_

_____But sooner or later I've got to choose_

_____And once again im thinking about _

_Taking the easy way out_

  
  


How long it's gonna take me to accept it, I don't know. Hopefully, sooner than later, because I don't want this emotional burden on my shoulders. Oh how I wish I told Izzy how I felt before he left. Then I wouldn't have to accept the fact that he's gone quite as painful. But I can't change the past. What's done is done.

  
  


_But if I let you go I will never know_

_____What my life would be holding you close to me_

_____Will I ever see you smiling back at me ?_

_____How will I know if I let you go ?_

______

_____But if I let you go I will never know_

_____Will I ever see you smiling back at me?_

_____How will I know if I let you go? _

I don't know if I'll ever see Izzy again. I probably won't, as I don't know where he is now. But I still have hope that I will see him again and If I do, then I will tell him how I feel. That is, if I don't let him go......

  
  


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Well? What do you think? Bad? Sad? Rotten? Good? Please review so I know. Reviews = Happy Author who will write more fics if she knows people like her fics. Like I said, this my first *attempt* at both a kouyako and a song fic, to bear with me on that. Now, the part you've all been waiting for.... my contest winners! So here they are...

  
  


::drumroll, please::

  
  


Me and kellie (one of the other judges) argued a LOT in person over this, and to Kara-Chan via e-mail, but I think it was worth it. I also added two awards: Best Song fic and Best Triangle. Now without further adieu the winners are:

  
  


Best Romance:" Nothing But Ashes" by Yuki

Runner Up: "Valentine Balloons" by jus1digigirl

  
  


Best Tearjerker: "Thank You" by DigitalAnimeFox

Runner Up: "Nothing But Ashes" by Yuki

  
  


Best Combination of Drama, Romance and Tearjerker: "Roses Are Red" by Hikari Takaishi

(note: the sequel to this is now up and it was going to be part of the contest, right HT?)

  
  


Best Takari: "Thank You" by DigitalAnimeFox

Runner Up: "The Love of Life" by Yuki

Best Triangle: "Letting Go Is Never Easy" by Lilly

Runner Up: "My Heart's Desire" by Yuki

  
  


Best Song fic: "Bed of Roses" by Carter Quetzi Tachikawa (I'm sorry if I spelt your name wrong!)

Runners Up: "The Right Kind of Wrong" by digi_star88

"Thank You" by DigitalAnimeFox

  
  


Most Reviewed Fic: "Thank You" by DigitalAnimeFox

Runners Up: "Bed of Roses" by Carter Quetzi Tachikawa

"Nothing But Ashes" by Yuki

  
  


(Please note that these results were taken on Sunday, April 8th and may have changed)

  
  


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Well there you have it! I loved doing this, so I think I'm gonna host another one soon. Anyhow, for anyone who cares, I was gone to Europe for Easter break, so that's why this is out later than I wanted it to be. Please review!!

  
  


~*I Am Canadian*~


	2. I Can't Believe It

OK, you asked for it, you got it. Part Two of my kouyako fic. Since I am a huge Takari lover, there may be parts of it in this, so don't get all mad at me because of it. A disclaimer isn't necessary from here on in, because I put it on the first chapter. However, I do own the character of Kaiya, Yolei's cousin.

  
  


Dedicated to all the usual people. You know who you are!

  
  


Special Note: As DigitalAnimeFox has her birthday on the same day as me, this part (actually the whole fic, if I add more parts to it) is a birthday gift from me; early, late, or on time depending on when she reads this. Happy Birthday!

  
  


Also, the first part to this was written in the 'I' perspective, while this part, although still in Yolei's POV, is changed around a bit. Hope that doesn't confuse people!

  
  


Enough of the babble, onto part 2!

  
  


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If I Let You Go, Part 2

  
  


I Can't Believe It

  
  


By: me! I Am Canadian

  
  
  
  
  
  


Yolei walked out the arrival gate in Vancouver and anxiously looked around for her cousin. Having just spent practically a whole day traveling, mostly on planes, she was ready to do some serious sleeping. "Yolei! Over here!" called a voice. Yolei spun around. She saw her cousin, Kaiya waving at her. "Yolei almost ran over to her. "Kaiya! Oh my god! I haven't seen you in sooo long!" Yolei exclaimed. The two cousins hugged for a minute. "Wow, Yolei. You look really different than the last time I saw you! But, that was almost two years ago" said Kaiya. Yolei fingered her long purple hair. "Really? You think so? If you ask me, you're the one that changed" replied Yolei. Kaiya giggled. "Honestly?" she asked. Kaiya had shoulder-length bright red hair and bright green eyes. Her black skirt and turquoise shirt made her really eye-catching. "Enough chit-chat" said Kaiya. "Let's go get your luggage and then I'm gonna take you over to my place where we can do all the catching up we need. Oh, and I was planning to have a few friends over. Do you mind?" "Nope." said Yolei. She picked up her backpack and headed off to the baggage claim with Kaiya, feeling happy that she had come to Canada

  
  


"Mmmm, the weather is so nice here! Nice and warm too!" exclaimed Yolei. She and Kaiya were driving along in Kaiya's convertible, on the road to Kaiya's apartment. Kaiya laughed. "Believe me, it isn't always like this. I think this must be one of those fluke times the weatherman was actually right for a change. So what made you come here anyway? Not that I don't like having you here or anything, I'm just curious." Yolei paused for a moment. "Well, I really wanted to travel abroad for awhile before starting college, and I've already been to America, Australia, and some parts of Europe, so I decided to come to Canada. Besides, I wanted to see you again, of course." answered Yolei, smiling. "Of course," said Kaiya. She spotted their exit and pulled off onto the ramp. "Almost there!" she said. "But I'm warning you, it's not a palace or anything" "I don't mind. And frankly, I don't care" said Yolei as Kaiya pulled into her apartment building's parking lot.

  
  


"And here we are!" exclaimed Kaiya, opening the door to apartment 103. Yolei stepped inside. She felt a blast of cool air, relief from the hot Toronto sun. The apartment, or what she could see of it, was decorated in shades of blue and everything looked neat and tidy. Yolei turned to Kaiya, "I love it! The way you decorated is soo cool!" she said. "I'm glad you like it," replied Kaiya. "Go dump your stuff in my room and get settled, while I get the gang over here" "Ok" answered Yolei, dragging her suitcase down the hall to Kaiya's room. man, why did I pack so much she thought.

  
  


Yolei and Kaiya walked over to a park that was across the street from Kaiya's apartment. Kaiya headed towards a rather large group of people. "Hey everybody," she called. "Hi Kaiya, wuz up?" a few of them replied. "Guys, I want you to meet my cousin Yolei. She's here on vacation from Japan, but speaks English really good. Yolei this is Kellie, Molly, Blake, Drew.." Yolei's head started to spin. How was she ever gonna remember all these names? Her eyes drifted over the group and she spotted a boy, about her age that looked very familiar to her. have I seen him before she thought nah, that's impossible "...Tamika, Adam, Alex, Liz, Alessandra.." Kaiya's voice went on. "And finally, Izzy. He's from Japan too, Yolei" Yolei's eyes nearly popped out of her head. 'Izzy' was the boy she thought she recognized. But was it 'her' Izzy? Izzy looked at Yolei and smiled. "Nice seeing you again" he said. Yep! It was the Izzy she once knew! "Oh my god! I can't believe it's you!" exclaimed Yolei, running over to give him a hug. "What are you doing here? I thought you went to LA?" "I did," Izzy replied "But my dad's company opened a branch here in Vancouver. I've only been here less than six months, but I met Kaiya and she introduced me to everybody here." Yolei then realized she still had Izzy in a hug. Blushing like crazy, she let him go. She looked up at Izzy and could see his face turning red too. Yolei turned around to her cousin. "Kaiya? Do you think me and Izzy could have a little time to ourselves? We have a lot to catch up on" she asked. "No problem" said Kaiya. She leaned over to Yolei and whispered into her ear, "you have a crush on him, don't you?" she asked. "How did you know?" whispered back Yolei. "Because, when two friends re-meet, they don't put each other in a hug and blush like crazy afterwards" responded Kaiya. "Were we that obvious?" asked Yolei, blushing again. Kaiya nodded. Then, talking louder, she said "C'mon guys, let's leave the two of them alone" Everybody walked away, leaving Yolei and Izzy by themselves

  
  


"I still can't believe I'm seeing you again" exclaimed Yolei. "Believe it" said Izzy, smiling. man, he has such a killer smile! thought Yolei. "Enough standing around. Let's go find somewhere to talk. We do, after all, have some catching up to do" he said. They started to walk off, and after releasing it and bringing it back several times, Izzy put his arm around Yolei's shoulder. oh my god! Is he doing what I think he's doing? He is! Does this mean he likes me? please, oh please say he does. But should we rush into this? I mean it's been almost 2 years, but who really cares? I say let him keep it there thought Yolei frantically. She turned and looked at Izzy. He blushed, which made Yolei blush too. She moved a bit closer to Izzy and said, "look, there's a bench over there. We can talk there" I still can't believe this!thought Yolei, smiling. And so they headed off towards the bench, Izzy's arm around Yolei, making anybody that passed them think they were anything but two friends who had just re-met 5 minutes earlier after almost two years apart.

  
  


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Well, there it is! ::cringes:: so how was it? Please review and let me know! To DigitalAnimeFox: I hope this meets your expectations of what you hoped this part was gonna be like, and again Happy (Early, Belated or just plain old regular) Birthday!

  
  


I'll try my best to get chapter 3 out soon, but final exams are two weeks away, plus I want to get the next part to 'Reunion' up ASAP, and I have a few more story ideas I want to get started on. 

  
  


Later, ~*IAC*~

  
  



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